A Love Letter to Yourself

 
write a love letter to yourself
 

Let's get a little deep and talk about how we treat ourselves. 

My family and I were on a long car ride, on our way to Monterey for the weekend. I was reading Danielle LaPorte's "White Hot Truth". Ya know, just trying to feed my soul while my kids were quiet. I came across this paragraph...

Underneath so much of our self-helping can be a lot of self-loathing. We create new obsessions to replace our old addictions. Of course a green smoothie is an immensely more nutritious choice than a soda pop. Exercise and meditation have far more enjoyable side effects than antidepressants. Practicing lovingkindness is perpetually awesome. But often, certainly more than we admit to ourselves, we’re stuck in a self-help Groundhog Day. “I’m not good enough yet, but I’ll get better. I’m getting better at bettering myself. Am I better yet?” And repeat.

What’s behind the compulsive drive to improve?... It seeps in from every photoshopped image telling you that you should be thinner, curvier (but only in the right places), whiter, browner, perfectly coiffed, and perpetually positive as you balance you workout time, your thriving career, and feed your well-behaved children non-genetically modified food - and if you’re not making time for all those things, well, you must not want it bad enough.
— Danielle LaPorte in "White Hot Truth"

I screamed, "Yes!!!"… scaring the crap out of my husband. As I read on I came to this question... 

Can you imagine not craving to be different than you are right now?"

It took my breath away because I couldn't. It was a heartbreaking thought, but I just couldn't imagine being content with being today's me. There was an endless list of "things wrong with me" floating around and I couldn't imagine how it would feel to be "fixed". 

I haven't "made it", yet, I'm not generous enough, I don't have enough patience, I haven't lost the 20 pounds I gained since the wedding, my pores are too big, my cellulite is out of control, I have serious Daddy issues, and I’m addicted to praise… probably because of those Daddy issues. 

We all want to improve. No one is perfect and life is all about growth. But those Ugh, I'm so sick of myself thoughts are so destructive! They take up residence in your brain and leave you constantly searching for the better you.

I have this amazing friend. I call her my Muse because after a Skype call with her my inspiration is at an all time crazy beautiful high and I have this inescapable itch to create. After confessing some of my inner judgey demons, she told me to write a love letter to myself. I was hesitant at first, but it really was a genius idea.

The first piece of the self-acceptance puzzle is to break the cycle of self-hate by taking a moment to recognize how freaking awesome you are. 

It would be great if we could be our own biggest cheerleader, but more often we act as our own worst critic. As my lovely friend put it…

We’re all guilty of spending so much of our time doubting ourselves, being critical of ourselves, thinking of all the things we did wrong. We are so harsh with ourselves and yet we turn around and are loving and nurturing and supportive for other people in our lives. Why then are we not more gentle with ourselves?

You won’t reach all of your goals today, or tomorrow, or in a year. So instead of dwelling in the “not done” let’s party where your best assets live. Sit in a quiet place, with a pen and paper, and write a love letter to yourself. Be an outsider peeking into your life and write what you love about yourself.

Criticism and negativity don’t belong here… only love and compassion.

Lots of love and a nap,

Jess

 

PS. If you want to dive deeper into the Self-Love pool, my spiritual crush, Danielle LaPorte, is speaking with 30 others at The Self-Acceptance Summit on Sept 11, 2017. You can register for the live broadcast at no cost HERE.